If someone from a hundred years ago travelled in time to today, would they recognise anything now? Probably not, and then they’d have a heart attack from the shock (probably). While we’re all keen on using tech to get us from A to B and to do our thinking for us, there are people who walk around eschewing tech.
Tech, Tech Everywhere!
Most of us use tech, but even our parents need to put on their glasses to send a text, which normally just consists of the word “yes” or “oK.seee. swn” (the latter is, I assume, without said glasses). So what about people that fall between the cracks? The ones that are trying their best to get into the 21st century but are failing miserably?
We all know one of them, and so, here is the breakdown of the 21st century… or the 21st century for dummies! Got someone there who needs to know how to get along in the modern age? Grab them, sit them down here and ask them to put their finger on the mouse – Actually, can you just scroll down for them when they’re done reading this bit? Thanks.
The DVD Doesn’t Exist Anymore
And neither does the video tape! The only reason to buy a DVD for someone now is if it’s not available on any single streaming service, and even that is rare! Whatever you want, you can stream it on Netflix or Amazon Prime.
Now, this is something that has to be paid for every month, but it actually works out cheaper than buying a load of DVDs so you may want to invest in one of these services yourself! Especially if you’ve been looking for enough TV shows to watch that it will occupy the rest of your natural life.
And you don’t even need to sit down to your favourite TV show when it’s actually on the television. You can watch it on “catch up TV!”
Nobody Talks To Each Other
It’s all done via their phones (the things you see glued to their hands, see above picture), and it’s worth you getting one of these too. This will be a recurring theme, but your phone will be the key to the world!
Get on the Holy Trinity of “social media” which is Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and you’ll find out what’s happened in the world before you put the news on at 6 o’clock. It’s very convenient!
Take Lots Of Pictures
Have you got a mobile phone with a camera? Now, point it towards yourself, pout like a duck and put it on Instagram. You can choose to put a filter on it, which is a way of making it look like it was taken 30 years ago, or you can choose to leave it as-is, in which case you’ll have to spend 20-minutes typing the words “#nofilter” to go alongside your post.
What’s “#,” you ask? Well, it’s what you have to put before everything you ever post as a topic, known commonly as a “hashtag, ” and it’s common courtesy to do a few. So, if you were, for example, in the supermarket, you would do #supermarket #nofilter #duck #duckpout or any words you choose, as long as there’s a “#” before it!
Gadgets Are King!
Yes, your phone is officially an extension of your arm, and you can use it to get on the internet and spend time reading about things you would never normally bother doing and getting into arguments on social media for no reason.
If you really want to make the most of living in the 21st century, you need to get some gadgets online and find every single way to attach your phone to it! Drones have been popular for a few years, but these are basically just remote control helicopters, it isn’t a fancy word for robots or anything.
Put Down The Book!
Do you still carry around a book? Throw it away and get a Kindle, which is a device that you can read books off. You don’t need to carry paper around, and in fact, you don’t need to buy a newspaper again! Just read your favourite newspaper on the internet! Saving mother earth is a priority, and we’re all doing our bit, but you can just leave the lights off most of the time to do your bit, and you can still save money!
Don’t Buy CDs
Like the DVDs, don’t buy CDs, but vinyl has come back, but it’s only something that is bought by what they call a “hipster.” You will recognise the hipsters because the girls dress in things from the 1950s and the men have beards, big beards! If you listen to music, do it on the internet.
You’re Probably Eating Wrong!
You’re probably eating gluten-free/paleo/vegan but without realising it. If you like bacon, you’re on a paleo diet. If you don’t like toast, you’re gluten-free. If you’re mainly veg-based and don’t eat animal products, that’s vegan (Like me and the wife)!
Every one of these diets is good for you and bad for you in equal measure (Apart from veganism, which done right is the healthiest thing in the world), so you’ll never find the right diet, so eat what you like, but don’t forget to take pictures of it and put it online with some sort of… that’s right, hashtag. Getting the knack of it now?
Go Get Involved
Yes, this is the 21st century in a nutshell. Everything is bad for you, and if you haven’t got a phone, you won’t speak to anyone ever again! Of course, this isn’t strictly true, but if you have been looking for a crash course in 21st-century ethics, this will give you a grounding in how to get by, whether you’re 90 or you’ve been living under a bridge.
Good luck and I’ll see you on the internet (i.e. this!) Now, click the “X” in the top-right corner, and join the 21st century! It’s not difficult, and it isn’t like another world. It’s just that everyone talks in letters like “OMG” (oh, my god) instead of words most of the time.